Case Study: Jean Kirschtein
by Tamaralol
Summary: Mikasa is worried about her teammate Jean. Although they don't talk much, Mikasa is determined to get to know him better. Perhaps she is too determined.
1. Jean's Room

**Jeankasa: Chapter 1**

It was a cold winter morning and Jean could see the icicles forming above his window. His eyes scanned the barren room inside the huge castle which currently served as the Scouting Legion's base. He turned his head to look at the other side of his double bed. The pillow was untouched, yet the duvet was in a mess due to Jean's nightly tossing and turning. Last night's nightmare began to come back to him, but just as he started to curl up, there was a knock on the door.

Reluctantly, he staggered to the door. It was too cold and Jean was tired. To Jean's surprise, Mikasa was stood waiting in the corridor. They were both wearing their pyjamas and Jean felt himself flush.

"Aren't you going to let me in, Kirschstein?" the look on Mikasa's face was not playful but worried instead. Jean realised that he was completely blocking her way by stretching under the doorframe. He immediately stepped aside and gestured for her to go in.

Just then, Eren walked past with a warning glare mixed with a slight amount of curiosity. I'm just as curious as you are buddy. On any other day, Jean would have flashed his wicked smile and flipped the bird, but he was not feeling himself for some reason. With a racing heartbeat he shut the door, interested in why Mikasa was in his room.

Walking back into his room, desperate to get back into bed, he noticed Mikasa standing awkwardly by his writing desk. She was counting the numerous screwed up pieces of paper. At least Jean didn't rip them in half. _I really should tidy this shit heap up. _He wordlessly motioned for Mikasa to sit on the end of his bed. The stool that accompanied the desk was lying on the floor. This was the outcome of last night's rage.

Mikasa nodded and tried to initiate the conversation, when she noticed Jean's obvious attempt to put space in between them. "Calm down, I'm here as a friend." She tried to make eye contact, but Jean averted her reasonably reassuring gaze.

Immediately flustered, Jean tried to sound casual. "OK, so what's hanging?" _Oh crap. Only I could manage to mix up what's up and how's it hanging. _All of Jean's embarrassing moments were flooding back to him.

Making light of an incident on a recent expedition, Mikasa saw her opportunity. "Well it's _hanging _pretty well," she cheekily cheered. Jean cringed. He didn't mean to get his 3DMG tangled up in the tree. "I doubt you could say the same." Mikasa knew something else was up.

_ What is she talking about?_ "I'm sorry but I don't quite understand." Of course Jean wasn't feeling half as motivated as Eren lately, but people didn't have to be so persistent and nosy. Obviously, Marco's absence affected everyone, but Jean was still grieving.

Mikasa examined Jean's face attentively and was eager to call him out on the dark bags under his eyes. As if this didn't cause concern on its own, even Hanji was worried about how gaunt Jean was becoming. Mikasa's duty as a friend fell upon her. "You've been crying out in the night." Jean looked as if her words had struck him on the face. Mikasa wasn't going to give in to any denial.

"It's understandable," she tried to be reassuring. Jean was too far away to hug, so as she stood up, she punched his shoulder. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here to listen." She genuinely pitied him as memories flooded back when she noticed that Jean and Marco were very close.

The pair always shared rooms, even when there was only one bed between them. Whenever asked about it, Marco tried to tell stories about Jean having nightmares. Nobody ever asked twice, because Jean's blushing assured them.

Jean rushed over to hug Mikasa. She formed a cocoon with her arms, swaying slightly. Jean always had feelings for Mikasa, but Marco was a long burning flame in his heart. He sighed and sank into her hold. A cloud of steam lost itself into Mikasa's hair by her ear, and Jean felt her go stiff.

In the awkward atmosphere, Jean broke up the embrace. "I'm sorry," offered Mikasa. She felt terrible for her actions; how could she forget that Jean once liked her? With Levi and Eren declaring their relationship only a few days before, she couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness. Staring Jean down, she could tell that he was feeling isolated too.


	2. Training Hall

In the training hall Mikasa watched Jean skulking around the equipment. The smell of sweat and damp filled her nostrils. Even though it was the afternoon, she wanted to go back into bed.

Armin and Eren were sparring. Loud grunts came from all around which made Mikasa want to join in. After hearing a long sigh, she felt Jean sit down beside her. Eren approached the pair cautiously.

"I'm going to go," Eren announced. "Hanji wants another examination." Armin gave one look at Jean, nodded, and followed Eren out of the hall. She had been ditched. Unsure of what to say, she stood up.

Afraid of Mikasa leaving, Jean thought of something quick. "Would you like to join me for a run later?" Jean blushed as he desperately uttered his words. With the fastest record time in Squad 104, she couldn't refuse his offer. Perhaps she could help him clear his mind.

"Of course," she replied with an air of confidence. "I know I can run longer than you!" Hopefully, joking around would have made Jean more comfortable.

After she finished boasting, Jean looked at her doubtfully. Mikasa laughed and her face became hot. She began to walk towards the skipping ropes and motioned for Jean to follow. She knew that strenuous exercise made her feel better. She could only hope that Jean would be able to keep up.

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Jean was exhausted. As he switched off the shower, fatigue took over. The run with Mikasa was exhausting. Training with Mikasa was exhausting. Thinking about Mikasa was exhausting. He sighed. How could she invade his thoughts when he was still grieving over Marco?

Marco. They had been very close, despite the fact that they grew up in different districts. Perhaps it was because of Marco's politeness, but back then, bad boy Jean was instantly attracted to him. Ever since Jean saw the freckled Jesus, he knew there was goodness in the world.

The pair was inseparable. They trained, ate and slept together. The rest of the squad always gossiped and speculated, but Jean couldn't care less. As long as he could keep Marco smiling, then there was nothing that could bring him down.

After he was found dead, the sun just didn't shine the same. However, his day certainly got brighter whenever Mikasa was around. Jean had found his beacon.


End file.
